Markus*, 27, Citalopram

A "well tolerated" drug

>> Read this story in German. In 2010, at the age of 17, I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital as an inpatient due to moderate depression. The outpatient treatment that took place in advance was not sufficient, so that the hospital stay was necessary. Here I was prescribed citalopram (off-label = the drug was not approved for use in children and adolescents) because it was well tolerated - there was no mention of side effects. The drug, in combination with other therapeutic measures, should enable me to overcome the depression and return to normal everyday life. I noticed an improvement in mood and drive in the first few weeks of taking it. After a few weeks, however, I noticed a reduced sensitivity of the genitals and a massively reduced libido - these symptoms were not present during the depression. Since I assumed that the symptoms would improve or disappear at the latest after stopping the drug, I didn't talk to anyone about it. In this respect I did not react to these symptoms. I was discharged eight weeks after being admitted to the psychiatric ward and weaned off the drug in 2012 under the supervision of my psychiatrist. Usually - also the case for me - a so-called withdrawal syndrome occurs here, in which, for example, nausea and dizziness occur. These side effects disappeared after a few days. However, I noticed a massive deterioration in sexual function, which manifests itself in: massively decreased libido, decreased genital sensitivity, premature ejaculation, less intense orgasms, problems achieving and maintaining an erection. Furthermore, my sense of smell and taste are often impaired, and my emotional affectivity (experiencing feelings) is reduced. "I reported these side effects to the psychiatrist, who thought they were signs of depression. He couldn't explain why none of these problems existed before taking the drug." I have asked the psychiatrist to prescribe me citalopram again - this in the hope that the level on citalopram ("just" decreased libido and less sensitivity of the genitals) will be reached again. This hope came true, so I took the drug until 2014 and then tried to stop taking it again. The above side effects then reappeared, which the doctor again attributed to depression. To date, I have not taken the drug again; the side effects listed above have remained almost unchanged to this day. With some dietary supplements I can get a temporary improvement, but it absolutely cannot be compared to the level before taking citalopram. "These side effects represent a massive burden for me and limit my quality of life." A relationship with a woman is almost impossible for me as I am afraid of being rejected because of these issues and I don't really feel like a man anymore. The situation becomes particularly stressful when friends talk about sex or women are sexually interested in me. Only my closest friends know about my situation, but fortunately they treat it very confidentially. I've never talked about it within my family, as sex is more of a taboo subject there. * Name changed
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